What in god’s name did I get myself into?

I haven’t seen the inside of a gym since August, and now I’m walking 25 kilometres every day for a full month?

When I initially signed up for this pilgrimage (figuratively, I mean), I had expected to do this walk with a friend. But now I’m gonna be all alone somewhere in Northern Spain.

I mean, “all alone” with hundreds of other pilgrims.

I wonder if my newbie-ness will radiate off me?

I wonder how many crippling blisters I’ll get?

Will I have a Camino romance, even if I don’t shave my legs for four weeks?

Should I download an audiobook or just force myself to listen to my own thoughts even when I’m sick of myself?

I’m not even sure why I’m doing it. I bounce between terror and extreme excitement, unsure what to expect, but knowing it’s going to be something special.

Even if I’ll be stuck inside my head for 8+ hours a day.

I’m not exactly religious or spiritual, so does that make me bit of a fraud? I kinda feel like a fraud.

As life goes, it’s doubtful I’ll be able to complete the whole thing. And it’s not just because I have hip issues. (Yes, at 29 years old, I have hip issues.) But I accepted some new contracts lately, and I’m in no position financially to turn them down.

(I’m actually really excited about these contracts, btw. But more on those later.)

So tomorrow I board my flight to Barcelona, where I’ve never been. I have two days to soak up some Gaudi and to do some tapas binge-eating. Then I have a full day in Pamplona just to mentally prepare myself while shopping for last minute items.

Like hair conditioner. Can’t get too careless on the trail now, can we?

I’m sure to forget a few things.

And then it’s time to hit the trail.

But I’ll be doing it without laptop or tablet – with only two changes of clothes.

Wanna know my biggest fear? It’s sleep, or lack thereof. And my self-consciousness over my buffalo-like snoring habits.

So I’ve bought some ear plugs, but I couldn’t find any Breathe Right nasal strips. Or a Diva Cup. How does one handle feminine hygiene on the trail? Anyway, if I don’t sleep, I’ll never make it through this journey.

I’m excited to meet new people. I’m excited to wander for hours without no distractions – no cell phone, no text messages, no emails. I’m excited to see where my mind will lead me, not just my feet.

I’m excited to look back on this blog post after I’m finished and think, “What a fucking idiot.”