The Spacecake Incident Revealed: My Side of the Story

The comments on Angela’s guest post about The Spacecake Incident caused me to revisit my own experience. Although I’m fairly certain I lost some subscribers because of that guest post. Anyway, I blogged about it briefly here, but it’s time I shared the whole story about how I bravely fought through the spacecake trauma to make it to the Anne Frank Huis…with disastrous results. Also, Ben Boudreau over at No Ordinary Rollercoaster is hosting a sexy giveaway, and I feel this qualifies for its prize.

Reserves your judgments, please.
This was a mistake and it will never be repeated.

The gang and I had no idea it was Gay Pride Weekend in Amsterdam when we landed there in August, 2007. It was pure luck. I spied a colourful poster on a bulletin in our hostel, and we all agreed to check out the festivities.

The next day was brilliant. Sunny, hot, the city buzzing. We participated in a free walking tour with some amazing guides, which eventually lead us right out to one of the canals where the parade was about to take place. We bought Coronas for the street and ambled up to the scene.

I can’t even tell you how much fun this was, the whole city turned out. Floats adorned with giant penises drifted by shooting glitter into the sky, while beautiful, chiseled gay men danced on-board. Techno music filled the air, people of all ages danced on their houseboats. I can still see the drag queens with their neon boas.

We were whirling when the whole thing was over. In an effort to keep the natural buzz going, we thought some drug-induced buzz might work. The night before, we had tried a bunch of brownies and other desserts, all without any negative effect. But the spacecakes at Dampkring? Those were the devil.

We sat on the edge of the canal, our feet dangling over the bridge. Amy lost her shoe. We hollered to boater after boater to pick it up, but nobody understood. Finally, an elderly man fished it out while a crowd of onlookers gathered around.

The offending shoes rescue

The offending shoe’s rescue


That should have been Warning Sign #1.

At this point, the group decided to separate. I don’t know why, as I generally stuck to Amy and Ange for the whole trip, and we were the only ones staying in our hostel. But the other two girls and I wanted to check out some famous fries. We agreed to meet at the Anne Frank Huis.

We got to the fry place, I ordered curry fries.

Mistake #1.

While stuffing my face with fries, a peculiar sensation began to take over. It wasn’t highness. It felt like my body slowly turning to cement, starting with my fingertips. Sounds became distant, my eyes lost focus. We moved forward.

The girls took out a map. By then, I had lost all reasonable consciousness and could only stand aside staring blankly into space as they mulled over our location. We trudged past canal after canal, each one looking exactly the same. We wandered aimlessly, pausing every five minutes to check our progress. My brain was screaming, my head was on fire. WHY WAS THIS TAKING FOREVER?

In reality, it took about 20 minutes. In my world, it was 20 years.

The line-up outside the museum was insane. The sun was beating down onto my poor uncovered, ginger head. I stood there in line-up, drool dripping from the corners of my mouth, eyes squinted, staring at the guy in front of me whom I thought to be my friend.

“Is that Pearson? It really looks like Pearson. Should I talk to him? Why isn’t he looking at me? Is that Pearson?” My mind raced.

If that dude had turned around, he would have seen me boring holes into his face with my bloodshot, paranoid eyeballs. The line moved on, Ange and Amy never surfaced.

Once inside, I had to sit down in the lobby. The other girls weren’t suffering like I was, I simply couldn’t move. I got up, and sat back down repeatedly. My legs were lead. I was beginning to panic about not finding my hostel again, ever. I would be stuck in this gawd-forsaken weed town having disco dance parties for the rest of my life.

And then the nausea hit me.

Mistake #2.

I bolted to the public restroom, eyeing the line-up in front of me. I must have looked seriously ill, because the old lady ahead of me started chattering to me in Dutch. I was losing my mind.

Finally, a teenage girl popped out of the stall.

I literally lunged at her, shoved her aside roughly, all while the Dutch lady screamed at me in gibberish, and slammed the door shut.

And then I spewed curry fries all over the restroom. Curry-freaking-fries. You know what burns just as much coming up as it does going down? Curry-freaking-fries. I haven’t emptied my stomach like that since my high school graduation party.

I sobered up remarkably after that, dashed through the museum and got the hell out of there. Clarity began seeping its way through my hazy brain, and I managed to get home safely. I crashed, at 9 p.m., snoring like a buffalo, while a huge gay dance party took place outside.

(As a side note, I had absolutely NO IDEA there was a HUGE GAY DANCE PARTY taking place right outside our hostel until I read Ange’s guest post. It was probably the saddest moment of my life. )

I returned the next day, and thoroughly paid my respects. The experience was beyond moving.

Well, there it is. My secret travel shame. Do you feel differently about me now? Have you wiped me from your Internet life?
If I ever go back to Amsterdam, it’ll be sans THC.

  • May 05 2010

    Awww Candice, you make me laugh. I can only imagine what that was like. I’ve never been THAT high before though.

    • May 06 2010

      Be thankful, and don’t EVER get that high!

  • May 05 2010

    Feel differently about you? Wiped you from my internet life?

    God, hardly. If I was that judgmental about anyone that had made a minor mistake (if you can really even call it that), I’d be left with nobody at all in my life. I’d probably be sitting around talking to my shoe in some vain attempt at companionship.

    I refer to the two lessons learned from my comment on Ange’s post, and add one more.

    3. No curry-fucking-fries either.

    • May 06 2010

      “I’d probably be sitting around talking to my shoe in some vain attempt at companionship.” Lol. We Canadians really are too apologetic, ain’t we?

  • May 05 2010

    I say curry fries and THC for everyone who can’t see the humor in this.

  • May 05 2010

    I LOVE YOU MORE THAN EVER!
    I hope that helps and doesn’t sound internet stalkery….

    • May 06 2010

      LOL, not at all! Means we can giggle over similar shenanigans at TBEX.

  • May 06 2010

    It’s Thursday morning, the weather is grim, I’ve got a headache and I’m due to go to work in about 90 minutes. But you’re still making me giggle. That’s no mean achievement. And this is no mean post. Or rather, this *is* a mean post. (Damn “mean” and its potential double meaning. God, I hate my language).

    There is nothing in the world that could induce me to popping one of these little monsters down my gullet. This post reinforces it, but I’ve known for a while that taking one of these transports you to another planet where the gravity is higher and the ground is on springs and the air is a mixture of laughing gas and concrete dust that gets breathed in and then sets hard when it’s inside your brain.

    No thanks.

    Same reason I hate being completely shitfaced. Tipsy? Warm and fuzzy? Laughing at anything? (“Look, he’s just stolen my wallet PAHAHAHAHAH!”). Check. David Lynch movie? No thanks.

    • May 06 2010

      Hahaha, thanks Mike! Glad you enjoyed it. Good reading for the early morning perhaps, makes you realize how much shittier you can feel. And I agree, being completely shitfaced is for the inexperienced who don’t know how to handle themselves. ;)

      (Happens to me quite often…)

  • May 06 2010

    Oooh man, sounds traumatic. Too bad you missed the huge gay dance party!!

    One reason I don’t want to go to Amsterdam is because I don’t get all excited and happy with weed in my system, I just want to sit, contemplate, eat and drool. And the one time I had a “spacecake,” it didn’t hit me until I ate other food either. Huh.

    By the way, I really like, and respect, that you put this post on your blog :)

    • May 06 2010

      Hahaha, thanks Alaina! Yeah, my body has never reacted too kindly to weed, so I have NO IDEA why I thought spacecakes would be fine. I’m not sure how anyone ever really enjoys that high.

  • May 06 2010
    Ben

    Oh sweet Jesus…you are SO entered.

    • May 06 2010

      Oh, bless you! Meant to comment on your blog. Thanks, Ben!

  • May 06 2010

    HAHAHAH Awesome!

  • May 06 2010
    maggie

    I still love ya! ;D I didn’t really need to be advised against spacecake and curry fries.. but if I did, you’ve done it!! ;D

    • May 09 2010

      Hopefully I can save a few souls from making the same mistake!

  • May 06 2010

    That is one hilarious series of mistakes! Considering I have never even smoked pot, I have no idea what that sort of high would be like, but I can imagine it might be something like the time I got so shitfaced drunk I couldn’t stand and had to be carried to the car and sang church hymns all the way home to keep from puking. Not quite as adventurous as you ;)

    • May 09 2010

      LOL, church hymns? I would have loved to witness that. Yeah, I’ll stick to my booze.

  • May 06 2010

    Oh goodness, no, I think I just added you TO my internet life!

  • May 07 2010

    Candice,

    I am shocked. Not only do I find out that you were at a hedonistic gay orgy, but you were consuming drugs and Indian food. I am appalled and offended.

    No … wait. No, I’m not. I find your story both delightful and shameful. :) I hope you had a better time when you went back to pay your respects, and didn’t barf all over the place.

    • May 09 2010

      Hahahaha, I am glad, whewww. Yeah, I cried my way through the museum the next day, it was really something special.

  • May 07 2010

    Oh, Candice, yours is the most hilarious description and depiction of being stoned that I have ever, ever read. Thank you.

    • May 09 2010

      Hahahaha, I still feel like I didn’t do it justice. Worst feeling ever.

  • May 07 2010

    While hilarious to read that sounded like the worst day ever, possibly in the history of the universe. Funny how some people can handle certain substances, and other people just can’t. I for one can’t drink vodka, anything else under the sun is fine, but vodka makes me feel like shit instantly. But we all make mistakes right? Least this gave you an interesting and funny story.

    And to answer your questions – no I don’t feel different, in fact I respect you more. You had the guts to tell the world what you went through, instead of a vague “I was sick in Amsterdam” post. And I’d have to get about 10 times higher than you were in order for me to erase you from my internet life – which sounds kinda creepy. But anyways I don’t think that’s possible.

    • May 09 2010

      Thanks Alouise! I probably shouldn’t have been so apologetic, I mean, honesty IS my thing. No more censorship.

      And omg I hear you on the vodka thing, except for me, it’s rum. I will NEVER drink rum again. Or Smirnoff vodka coolers.

      • May 10 2010

        No worries. We Canadians love to apologize, I think it’s part of our national psyche or something.

  • May 07 2010

    1. I like that you called yourself out on the “that’s what she said.”
    2. I think I love margaritas because they’re about the only alcohol my mom drinks (although I have recently gotten her into a crazy concoction called sweet tea vodka, worth googling). Maybe I got buzzed on margs in the womb.

    • May 09 2010

      Hahahahaha, hilarious. Sweet tea vodka? Dude, that sounds like a DANGEROUS combination.

  • May 11 2010

    HAHAHA, fuck yeah. That’s me on weed. Once, I ate a pot brownie and told my boyfriend to call an ambulance because “I think I forgot to breathe.” Then, I fell asleep for 2 hours, jumped up suddenly and shouted “LETS EAT SNACKS.”

    And don’t get me started on sweet tea vodka. It’s like, thebest.

    • May 13 2010

      Hahaha, did you ever listen to that video recording of a high cop who calls 911 because he thinks he’s dead? Best thing ever.

  • May 16 2010

    Oh, Candice! Glad to hear you rallied again so quickly! Hey, we all get sick… and get REALLY excited for things we didn’t know were coming, like gay pride parades. I even had to send a cute surfer boy running after a shoe of mine this very Friday. The tides were fast and strong! PS I was HOLDING his phone while he chased, and didn’t put my number in it. So, so rusty… Sigh.

    • May 16 2010

      Oh the things you fail to think of when your shoe is floating away! Hehe. Yeah, it makes for a good story, at least.

  • May 21 2010

    If you ever go to a festival in San Francisco, avoid the “chocolate” ;)

  • May 26 2010

    Bless! We truly are kindred. I had a near moment like that the first time I was in Amsterdam. And then, a few weeks ago … it wasn’t as bad, but still … and it involved Dampkring!

    • May 29 2010

      Damn, I guess the REAL meaning of that story is…don’t go to Dampkring?!

  • June 19 2010
    Manisha

    Hey I went to dampkring last week and bought their spacecake, it was the best cake i’d ever tasted.and the high was AMAZING. (i took the weed muffin btw, not the hash one). the thing is, their cake is probably one of the strongest in dam-0.6g/cake, which is euiqvalent to at least 2 good sized joints. Which is kinda too much if ur not a regular smoker!

    • June 21 2010

      Oh man, did I ever learn that the hard way. I had no problems with smoking or eating other cakes that weekend, it was just that one. Agh!

  • September 28 2010

    Holy shit!

    I wanna try me some of that before i go!

    • September 30 2010

      If you do, I REALLY wanna hear your story!

  • October 27 2012
    Lulu

    Well Sharing bad experiences is definitely about learning and spreading awareness. I had z worst experience ever 2 nights ago in Amsterdam after having my first and LAST space cake ever! In fact I was extremely exhausted zat night and I insisted to try z space cake, notice zat I don’t smoke and not used to drugs at all. I had 1 cake only around 12. At 4 am my bad trip had began. Hypotension, sweating, numbness, strong shivering, hallucinations, vomitting, panic…a cycle that lasted for 2 hours. I had to be at airport at 8.30 am which has worsened the panic and paranoia

  • October 27 2012
    Lulu

    Thanks God I got through this due to my lovely friend who was extremely supportive and we made it to get back home. The conclusion is that if you’re not used to smoke (hashish, marihuana……) never try to eat a whole space cake because the physical & emotional harm are tremendous and annoying. By z way I panicked and asked for the paramedics who refuse to show up in case of “legal drugs” but since we r pharmacists and I have taken anti-inflammatory zat night after the cake (1st day period), my friend told them m having side effect reaction to z medication using medical terms.

  • October 27 2012
    Lulu

    Z showed up and z didn’t do a thing but at least z assured us it’s transient reaction due to space cake that could last up to 12 hrs. I think most probably I had an overdose reaction since I was having pupil constriction and ozer symptoms. I thankful also to z concierge of the hotel who was very helpful and advices me to drink lots of cola in order to vomit.
    New users of space cake should be WARNED of z hazardous side effects!

  • February 28 2013

    Hey Candace, I just stumbled upon your blog as we are heading Europe for a few weeks later this year. Gotta admit, between Ange and your post about the Space Cake incident, you darn near had me peeing myself. Anyways, i really like your writing style, and will make sure I keep up on your adventures!

    • March 05 2013

      Hahaha, glad you enjoyed, thank you! And please do learn from our mistakes :)

      • March 09 2013
        TT83

        Same thing minus the fries, happened to me in Amsterdam! Gay Pride Wknd (also no clue) August 2010. Looking at the map took 12 years in my mind and I walked down Singel street(main canal) for so long I broke down and cried because I thought it was a sign from God that I’d be single forever lol!!…Damn Space Cake!

      • March 09 2013
        TT83

        Same thing minus the fries, happened to me in Amsterdam! Gay Pride Wknd (also no clue) August 2010. Looking at the map took 12 years in my mind and I walked down Singel street(main canal) for so long I broke down and cried because I thought it was a sign from God that I’d be single forever lol!!…Damn Space Cake!

      • March 09 2013
        TT83

        Same thing minus the fries, happened to me in Amsterdam! Gay Pride Wknd (also no clue) August 2010. Looking at the map took 12 years in my mind and I walked down Singel street(main canal) for so long I broke down and cried because I thought it was a sign from God that I’d be single forever lol!!…Damn Space Cake!

      • March 09 2013
        TT83

        Same thing minus the fries, happened to me in Amsterdam! Gay Pride Wknd (also no clue) August 2010. Looking at the map took 12 years in my mind and I walked down Singel street(main canal) for so long I broke down and cried because I thought it was a sign from God that I’d be single forever lol!!…Damn Space Cake!

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