It seems there is no “ideal climate” for me in this world.
I despise winter. I hate snow. I hate rain, overcast skies, and the chaos that comes with the cold weather in Newfoundland.
NOOOOOO
In actuality, it’s not even THAT bad. For some reason, the rest of Canada thinks we live in the arctic. Calgary received 20 cm of snow this week, and we likely won’t see any until late December. Our winters are wet and miserable, but the temperature rarely drops below minus 10. But if you’re a Newfoundlander, it’s your God-given right to bitch about the weather. Too hot, too cold, too rainy. TOO MUCH EVERYTHING.
But then I moved to Montreal, into an apartment without air conditioning. Over a busy restaurant on Saint-Laurent.
At least Montrealers make the most of it, because apparently their bodies are impenetrable by intense heat.
Nothing prepared me for that heat. NOTHING. It was like constantly being suffocated by the devil’s ass. I had nothing for relief except a dirty old fan that literally ROARED and blew dust into my eyes until they became so irritated, I developed an eye infection.
I was sticky all the time. I woke every morning in agony, unable to get out of bed because I was too warm. One morning I lay there on my mattress, crying for HOURS because I was so miserable, I couldn’t even drag myself to the shower. I scratched one line of text into my travel journal: “I hate winter but this heat is ruining my life.”
Nobody looks good when rivulets of sweat are cascading down their chest like waterfalls.
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THAT? Not even the Dominican Republic made me so miserable.
Seriously, I want to know.
So when I came back to Newfoundland where a cool breeze (raging hurricane) constantly blows off the ocean, I had never felt so relieved in my life. Is there anywhere in the world where I can find that happy medium? Tell me. Tell me now.
At least I know how to wear it.
