Friday marked my third annual Beer Fest participation. Or maybe it was my fourth, or fifth, I don’t really remember. Such is the way of a girl who documents beer festivals.

Anyway, as per usual the event was a blast. My friends and I were lucky enough to score tickets for the Friday night event, which took some strategic planning on our part. I rounded up three ticket wranglers to be poised at the NLC website a few weeks ago to click “Refresh” repeatedly until the tickets went on sale. We each bought four and spread them throughout our posse. They sold out within 6 minutes.

The event is meant to showcase beers from all around the globe. Many people do show up at the event expecting to take notes and properly assess different brews. But for the most part, you get a lot of people just looking to get intoxicated.

Here’s how NOT to do it (or if you’re like me, how to do it and do it well).

First, skip the coat check line-up to maximize full beer sampling potential. In an effort to still appear refined, always extend pinkies while drinking. (Note the adorable miniature beer mugs–so cute! Also, pocket said beer mugs and don’t lose them, lest you want a $20 fine. No joke.)

Pose with friends for token friends shot.

Attempt to take comprehensive notes, as shown below.

Entirely annoy bartender by cracking too many jokes about Singapore’s Tiger Beer being made with real tiger blood.

Similarly, poke fun at the insanely large line-up for the male bathroom while the female bathroom remains mostly empty. Ladies who don’t like beer, you’re seriously missing out on a huge potential husband market here.

Win a killer, heavy-duty bottle opener. Then attempt to open your mug of beer with bottle opener (?), and then lose it forever.

Drink a lot more to pretend your friends’ rowdy behavior isn’t embarrassing.

Sit down at a picnic table to write notes.

Take a nap.

In the morning, analyze said notes.

Turns out I like Molson more than Labatt, who would’ve figured? Judging by the the trailed-off “yum,” writing simple notes became too much effort.

Beer Fest DOES work, however: the next day my friends and I all discussed how much we loved Mill Street’s Lemon Tea brew, and I did enjoy their Coffee Porter. Tiger Beer turned out to be quite delicious, and I found a new love in William Premium Cider.

See you next year, Beer Fest!