Well, Iâ€™m back in Canada. The past week-and-a-half was riddled with obstacles and errors. I did not come home feeling very happy, I must admit, even if I think Hawaii is one of the most special places Iâ€™ve been to on this planet. I havenâ€™t been very diligent in keeping up with social media/blogging because this jet lag is like something out of a horror movie. One second I’m happy and alert, the next Iâ€™m facedown in my pillow with a river of drool leaking from the corner of my mouth.
Someone on my Facebook page requested that I write about food in Hawaii. Itâ€™s probably not what you think it is.
I had a weird idea that Hawaiiâ€™s food would be nothing but fresh fruits and veggies (cheap!), light fare, and all locally produced. As it turns out, this is only partially true. Hawaiians also love their meaty, heavy foods. This is great if youâ€™re prone to hangovers and binge-eating inclinations.
I didnâ€™t try it all â€“ no, nowhere close. I didnâ€™t eat at fancy restaurants, because I was broke. My favourite meal was actually at a raw-food restaurant named Maka by Mana in the surf town of Paia, Maui. It was the only thing that didnâ€™t leave me feeling bloated and heavy.
VEGANISM! Rhymes with hedonism.
But hereâ€™s what I did eat!
I was basically obsessed with my fish tacos. Iâ€™d had one or two in Canada, but didnâ€™t overly love it. Theyâ€™re different in Hawaii, as I imagine they are for most of the Pacific coast. The fish is lightly breaded, like tempura. Even if youâ€™re not fussy about seafood, I assure you, this is different.
The best fish taco I had the entire time was at The Fish Market near Lahaina in Maui. I used Yelp a lot to source good food places while travelling around the state, and it pointed me in the direction of this nondescript hole-in-the-wall with my buddy Evan.
This baby marked the start of a taco obsession.
Close runner-up: the fish tacos at the Kona Brewing Company in Kona, Big Island. They were made with moonfish, and I wish I hadnâ€™t Googled what moonfish are.
Coconut, fresh pineapple, dragon fruit, passion fruit. When you have to Google how to eat a particular fruit, you know youâ€™ve latched onto something special.
My favourite was actually the passion fruit, better known as lilikoi in Hawaii. Itâ€™s tangy like kiwi, but sweeter. Itâ€™s also used as a popular flavouring for ice-cream, desserts, etc.
Malasadas at Leonardâ€™s
My friend Fidel brought me to Leonardâ€™s because the place is famous for its malasadas â€“ a light, fluffy Portuguese donut. Timbits ainâ€™t got nothinâ€™ on this baby.
Itâ€™s located not far from Waikiki on Oahu island. Theyâ€™re only like, $1 each, so buy 30.
I have absolutely no idea what the fascination with Spam is all about, but I figure since Hawaii is a big isolated collection of islands (kinda like Newfoundland), its food shortcomings are made up for with easy things like Spam (kinda like Newfoundland and bologna).
One of the most unusual Spam creations: the Spam Musubi. Like the Portuguese, the Japanese have had MASSIVE influence on Hawaii. I wish I could meet the person who thought slapping a piece of Spam inside musubi was a good idea. Itâ€™s actually not too bad, if you donâ€™t think about what Spam is.
There was a Musubi CafÃ© next to my hotel in Waikiki, so I went there for a luxe version: Spam, egg, and bacon.
Thereâ€™s not much I loved about this dish. I ate one third of it. I mean, it was tasty, but itâ€™s a disaster. What is Loco Moco? Itâ€™s a generous portion of rice topped with a hamburger patty (or three), fried eggs, and SMOTHERED in gravy. How the hell do Hawaiians stay so thin?
I tried this dish in Waikiki, in a little off-the-main-drag area with a collection of food trucks. Look up Pau Hana market.
Huli Huli Chicken
While on a tour in Oahu, my guide recommended the Huli Huli Chicken at the place we were stopping for lunch. She did not tell me that the dish would include HALF A CHICKEN. Iâ€™m not kidding.
Itâ€™s slow roasted chicken, served with sticky rice and mac salad. Do not forget the mac salad. Hawaiian mac salad is a staple and cannot be compared to any other mac salad in the world. Mac salad, mac salad, mac salad. Remember.
Iâ€™m actually not a big pork person, unless itâ€™s in the form of bacon. But I had kalua pig several times while in Hawaii, and it was delightful. Traditionally itâ€™s cooked in an underground oven, like at my luau. But I suspect most restaurants do not have underground ovens, and so itâ€™s slow-cooked instead.
One of the best ways to sample a little bit â€˜o everything is by ordering a â€œplate lunch.â€ This will include several different local favourites (like kalua pig), but will also be accompanied with sides like mac salad (MAC SALAD!), sticky rice, poi (a thick paste made from taro root), lomi-lomi (essentially salmon salsa), and chicken long rice (resembling transparent worms). As you can maybe tell, I wasnâ€™t fussed on the last two.
This is not a light meal. I ordered the plate lunch at Vernaâ€™s Drive-In in Hilo, Big Island. It fed me for three days.
I did not expect much from shave ice, I admit. Iâ€™m not a fan of syrupy desserts, and I prefer chocolate whenever the occasion arises. But, when in Romeâ€¦eat like a goddamned Hawaiian.
Itâ€™s not a snow cone. Stop saying it is. Most shave ice vendors offer a shit ton of flavours, or at many places you can just ask for the â€œrainbowâ€ shave ice and theyâ€™ll put something together for you. Sometimes you can put ice-cream on the bottom, but then you wonâ€™t be able to slurp up the melted goodness with your straw.
Hawaii is a big producer of macadamia nuts. And Hawaiians are really good at turning macadamia nuts into awesomely unique flavours. I mean, check out this Spam version.
At the Tropical Farms macadamia nut outlet in Oahu, I wandered in thinking I wouldnâ€™t be too impressed. Like I said, Iâ€™m a chocolate person. But that smart outlet had laid out dozens of sample bowls filled with different flavours of macadamia, and I ended up walking away with several bags, including the likes of toffee, pineapple, coffee, and caramel.
Poke is BELOVED in Hawaii. At my hostel in Wailuku, Maui, a local told me that I HAD to try the poke at Takamiya Market, and so I did. Itâ€™s like Japanese sashimi, or Peruvian ceviche, but the fish is served in bite-sized cubes. Ahi (tuna) is the most common fish used.
If you like sushi, chances are youâ€™ll like poke. I later had seared ahi in a salad and it was the best thing ever.
Believe it or not, I only regained three pounds while in Hawaii. I am both relieved and absolutely shocked.
What are your favourite Hawaiian dishes?