I’m deviating from my normal travel posts today for a little social media rant. I came out of the hypothetical blog closet last week, announcing Candice Does the World to my entire family and friends on Facebook. I’ve had my blog on lockdown for the past year, immediately untagging any posts mentioning me or my writing, and barely giving out business cards.

Mostly I was afraid of what my mother would think. Her response was when I finally sent her the link? “Candice, I’ve been reading you from day 1. Surprise!”

Then I created my Facebook fan page, reaching out to a whole new audience in an incredibly efficient way. Gotta love social media, even if sometimes it’s a pain. Anyway, here’s a few reasons why I won’t follow you.

1. Your profile picture sucks. I don’t want to be friends with an egg. I have enough cholesterol in my life as it is.

2. Your Twitter stream is all you. When someone follows me on Twitter, the first thing I do is take a general scan of their Tweets. I don’t care how big of a deal you are, if you’re not talking with other people, what’s the point? I try not to make my timeline into a chatroom, but getting to know people is pretty vital. I realize you can’t respond to everyone all the time, but engage sometimes at least.

3. You never respond. I have a few people who follow me on Twitter and Facebook but have never responded to any of my messages. I don’t get it. Why would you friend me if you’re just going to ignore me?

4. You follow TOO many people. Believe it or not, trying to be a friend with everyone just doesn’t work. I’d rather a smaller, kickass group of friends I can get to know intimately than a huge group of strangers.

5. You’re preachy religious. I don’t care what religion you are, if you’re going to comment on my drinking habits and call me evil, I’ll probably block you. And yes, that has happened.

6. You’re creepy. Please don’t hit on me. It’s weird.

7. You befriend me just to get hits. My biggest annoyance ever is when someone adds me as a friend on Facebook and then immediately suggests I “like” their group. DON’T DO THAT. If you’re going to use me as a form of self promo, at least buy me a coffee first.

And on that note, you should definitely go “like” my fan page and follow along with my Mexico trip. All the cool kids are doing it.