Welcome to the fifth (fourth?!) installment of Life Advice From an Unemployed Artist. I’ve had some strange questions sneak into my inbox lately, but it’s okay. I love my readers.
What does “Luh” mean? I’ve seen it in some Facebook comments but I have no idea what it means. I think it’s a NL thing but I’m not sure.
“Luh” is most definitely a Newfoundland expression, but I don’t think it actually has a meaning. It’s more of a substitute for “look!” and is used to draw attention to something. For example, “Look at dat, luh!” is an appropriate phrase to use downtown on George Street on a Friday night to point out the girl who looks like a hooker sitting on the sidewalk with her legs splayed.
Red, I got this wife, great gal, but when I wake up in the morning and roll over to give her a kiss or two she invariably comments on how my breath smells like something that crawled stinking from the Dark Ages. Now, I don’t fancy rolling out of bed first thing before kisses and snuggles and shit so how do I kill my dragon fart breath? Altoids? breath strips? gum? Help!
I am a firm believer in gum. At any time, I carry three packs of gum in my purse. My biggest fear is that someday I will be face to face with my Prince Charming (i.e. Josh Holloway), and I’ll just have eaten a full meal of garlic shrimp, and will not have any gum. Dentyne works well, as does Excel.
But if you do not enjoy popping gum first thing in the morning, try some super-mega-crazy fresh breath mouthwash before you go to bed. And don’t be cheap about it, take a great big swig. Or hey, closed-mouth kisses can also be pretty rad.
Are you ever worried about traveling to a place where you don’t speak the language? Especially as far as getting around to where you need to go?
Yes, I don’t have an ear for languages. I don’t have much of an ear for anything, apparently, because I’m as tone-deaf as a goldfish. This is particularly worrisome given the fact I’ll be in Montreal all weekend, and although I’m told I don’t actually need to speak French to get around there, I feel like I should at least try.
The worst part is that I’ve been studying French since I was 7 years old, and while I can read it just fine (and even write…sorta), I simply cannot speak it. When I was in Brittany, France two years ago, I was dumbfounded by how my language education had failed me. One morning, one of my colleagues asked, “Comment ca va?” (inappropriate French quotation marks and grammar FTW) and I responded with “ca va bien!” He was impressed. The fact that this exchange was the culmination of nearly 15 years of French learning tells me I’m a language idiot.
But generally I don’t worry too much. Thank god our world is westernized enough that speaking English in most places doesn’t seem to be a problem. Whew.
If you’re worried about this, my advice is to download a crapload of apps. If you don’t have an iPhone, you’re SOL.
Burning with questions? Use the form in the right-hand corner! Or go see your gynecologist.